Michael spoke about growing up in Sarah’s shadow, even though I had never realized he felt that way. Sarah had been naturally outgoing and academically gifted. Praise seemed to find her easily.
Michael had struggled more in school. He was quieter and more sensitive to criticism. When I pushed him to work harder, I believed I was encouraging him.
He often heard something different.
“You used to say, ‘Sarah never needed to be reminded,’” he told me during one session.
I remembered saying it.
At the time, it seemed harmless.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I should never have compared you.”
“I know you didn’t mean it the way I heard it.”
“But you still heard it.”
He nodded.
“Mom usually understood.”
“Your mother understood things about people before the rest of us did.”
“She was the one who made me feel like I wasn’t disappointing everyone.”
