“I was trying to keep the peace.”
“You were keeping their peace.”
Outside the room, a cart rattled down the corridor. A nurse laughed softly at something a colleague said. Life continued at an ordinary pace while my understanding of my marriage quietly rearranged itself.
“I didn’t know it was this bad,” I said.
“No,” Maya replied. “You didn’t.”
She closed her eyes, exhausted.
I wanted to defend myself. I wanted to explain that I had spent years supporting everyone because my father died young and my mother had struggled. I wanted to say that Chloe had always been impulsive and Mark had been between jobs more often than he had been employed. I wanted to say that helping family was not the same as choosing them over my wife.
But as I watched Maya lie in a hospital bed because she had been afraid to call me, every explanation sounded like another excuse.
