“Then write now.”
My mother looked up.
“What if he doesn’t want me anymore?”
The question was so frightened, so human, that some of my anger shifted—not gone, not forgiven, but moved aside enough for me to see her clearly.
I thought of myself at nineteen.
Of the screen door.
Of my mother crying behind it.
Of all the years I had imagined her silence as coldness.
Now I understood it had been fear.
Fear could still cause harm.
But understanding gave me somewhere to begin.
I pulled out the chair across from her and sat down.
“Then you apologize,” I said. “And you tell him the truth. And you don’t make his response about your pain.”
My mother nodded slowly, tears clinging to her lashes.
“I can do that.”
My father looked at me then.
There was so much in his face that he could not seem to choose one emotion.
