Once, when my boots split open in high school, a secondhand pair appeared beside my backpack.
“Where did these come from?” I asked.
“Church donation,” Mom said too quickly.
But Victor stayed.
I looked out the kitchen window.
Victor was brushing snow off the steps.
I just didn’t understand.
***
Then cancer came and made my mother small.
Stephanie had once carried grocery bags in both hands and opened doors with her elbows. By the end, I could see her wrist bones.
Two weeks before she died, I sat beside her hospital bed while she picked at the blanket.
I just didn’t understand.
“Fiona.”
“I’m here.”
“You have to promise me something.”
I leaned closer. “Mom, rest.”
“No.” Her fingers closed around my wrist. “Victor.”
My stomach tightened.
“Not this again.”
“Mom, rest.”
“Promise me you’ll feed him.”
“Why?” I whispered. “Why him? Why always him?”
Her eyes filled.
