The neighborhoods I could afford were farther out. The apartments were smaller. Some smelled like mildew. Some had windows that faced brick walls. Some had landlords who seemed irritated by my questions.
I went to eight showings that felt like disappointments wrapped in fluorescent lighting.
I’d walk into a unit and try to imagine my life there, try to picture my plants on the windowsill, my books on the shelves, my body unclenching. But all I saw were compromises.
Then, one evening, I walked into a one-bedroom that was smaller but clean. The building hallway smelled faintly of old paint and someone’s cooking, but not in a bad way. The unit had wood floors that weren’t warped. The bathroom was small but bright. The kitchen wasn’t glamorous, but the cabinets closed properly. The bedroom window looked out over trees instead of a wall.
The neighborhood was quieter than mine, fifteen minutes longer commute, but it felt safe. It felt possible.
