Forgiveness did not require me to accept responsibility for Vanessa’s choices.
It did require me to examine my own.
Years later, my father and I returned to the old neighborhood on Miller Street.
The dogwoods were in bloom, and small flags had been placed along the sidewalks for Memorial Day weekend.
A young family lived in the house by then. Children’s bicycles rested in the driveway, and a basketball hoop had been installed above the garage.
My father slowed the car as we passed.
“I thought selling it would feel like losing your mother again,” he said. “But it didn’t. I think I finally understood that she wasn’t in the furniture or the walls.”
“No,” I said. “She wasn’t.”
“She was in what we carried away.”
We continued driving.
Neither of us asked to stop.
By then, the charitable programs had expanded beyond North Carolina.